Have your ever wondered about the meaning of your name? It was popular in the past to look up the root as well as the meaning. My saga continued, believe it or not, when I discovered that the root of my name came from the word....barbaric. Nice, huh??? To add to the disillusionment about my name, I discovered that the "Christian" meaning of the name Barbara was........Ready??...............Beautiful Stranger. I'm sure you're wondering why I'd be so upset about that. Well...............here's my story.
For as long as I can remember, I never felt like I belonged to this world. Spooky, right??? Not really. I was one who saw things other people didn't see......felt things other people didn't feel..............and knew things other people didn't know. People just thought that I had a vivid imagination, which frustrated my heart like you can't even imagine. Not being taken seriously, or not being believed, to me was a curse. I deeply wanted to connect, yet I always felt alone, especially in the ways that mattered most to me. 
Which brings me to Beautiful Stranger. The beautiful part, well that's another issue altogether. No, I went straight to "Stranger". My need to be accepted screamed at the thought of being a "Stranger" I wanted to be loved and accepted, and who gets close to strangers, or people who are strange, right?? 
As the years went by, I did realize, however, that there were others just like me. How did I know that? When I was brave enough to share, I could hear the unspoken responses, such as....."Oh My Gosh, she's just like me." Or, " What a fruitcake!!!!" As I grew in sensitivity, I would just be able to stand next to someone and know. It's something that says," You are...or you're not".I realized that the real way to know someone was by the spirit. Their words and body language only reveal the condition of their hearts at that moment, but the touching of the spirit gives you the true essence of who they are. That's what God sees, and that's where He does His eternal work in YOU!!
I'll let you ponder that until tomorrow when I continue my story. In the meantime.......maybe you'll discover something about yourself. That's the specialness of the journey.
Blessings!!
1 comment:
I'm glad you're doing this. I don't think I ever knew why or how you "got me", but after reading this it gives me that weird feeling inside....make sense?
I also now no why you told me it is a blessing rather than a curse. I'm learning how to embrace it day by day. I think it's a little weird that I felt a lot of the same feelings as you, but the meaning to my name is Beloved. I couldn't grasp it back then and still struggle with it now at times. It goes without saying that no matter what... experiences have a way of damaging despite. It's when you begin to accept, that the rest makes sense and falls into place.
Post a Comment